Sexual orientation is about who you’re attracted to and want to have relationships with. Sexual orientations include gay, lesbian, straight, bisexual, and asexual.
Sexual orientation is about who you are attracted to, and who you are attracted to in terms of romance, emotion, and sex. This is different from gender identity. Gender identity does not lie in who you are attracted to, but in who you are—male, female, gender queer, etc.
This means that being transgender (feeling that the gender you specify is very different from the gender you identify with) is different from homosexuality, lesbian, or bisexuality. Sexual orientation is about who you want to be with.
Sexual orientation is different from gender and gender identity.
There are a bunch of identities associated with sexual orientation:
- People who’re attracted to a different gender (for example, women who are attracted to men or men who are attracted to women) often call themselves straight or heterosexual.
- People who’re attracted to both men and women often call themselves bisexual.
- People who’re attracted to people of the same gender often call themselves gay or homosexual. Gay women may prefer the term lesbian.
- People whose attractions span across many different gender identities (male, female, transgender, genderqueer, intersex, etc.) may call themselves pansexual or queer.
- People who’re unsure about their sexual orientation may call themselves questioning or curious.
- People who don't experience any sexual attraction for anyone often call themselves asexual.
It’s also important to note that some people don't think any of these labels describe them accurately. Some people don't like the idea of labels at all. Other people feel comfortable with certain labels and not others. It's up to you to decide how you want to label yourself, if at all.
What if I don’t want to be labeled?
It’s okay if you don’t want to be labeled. Only you can decide what sexual identity best describes you. But some people may feel that none of the common labels feel right to them.
Your sexual orientation and identity can remain the same throughout your life. Or it can vary depending on who you’re attracted to, or romantically partnered or sexually active with. This is completely normal. Once you claim a label, there’s no reason why it can’t change as you change.
Changing how you identify doesn’t mean that you’re “confused.” Many folks, old and young, experience changes in who they’re attracted to and how they identify. This is called “fluidity.”